Survivin' the Wild
by PB n Jay
Summary: Chapter 2 up! A new special guest comes and the AUSTRALIAN CROCODILE HUNTER!!! R&R! No flames!
1. Yugi's Bad Day

Jay: I wonder why I teamed up with Peanut Butter...  
  
PB: PB!!!  
  
Jay: Right! To write this duma$$ fic! Stupid fic! You should burn!!! This is probably the stupidest fic I ever heard!!!  
  
PB: Get outta me face! (Slaps Jay)  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yugi: (Sighs then yawns and sighs again) What a great day! (Black cat mysteriously enters the room) Hey look! A kitty! Here kitty, kitty, Oww! (Cat bites Yugi) Stupid cat! (Walks to bathroom) Hair gel... (Rummaging through cabinet) Where is it?  
  
Grandpa: Yugi, if you're looking for the hair gel, I used all of it.  
  
Yugi: I just bought a new bottle yesterday!!!  
  
Grandpa: You can survive a day without spikes right???  
  
Yugi: I have a ****ing colored Afro here!!! Darn Gramps left. (Walks out. Neighbor mowing lawn, screams and runs into the house) Hmmm. Wonder why he left? (Lawn mower runs over Yugi's feet) Oww!!! I need a doctor! (Crawls 15 miles to doctor's office) So tired! What the ****!!! The doctor's closed. Screw you! (Plops on the floor, faints) (Werewolf comes and bites Yugi)  
  
Yugi: Owww!!! What's wrong with these animals today? I need a hospital! (Crawls to hospital 20 miles away) (Yugi bursts into hospital, Nurses look and look away)  
  
Nurse: Something we see everyday.  
  
Yugi: A little help?  
  
(A While Later)  
  
Doctor: You got Rabies! Congratulations!!!  
  
Yugi: WHAT??? Any cures?  
  
Doctor: Kill a wolf, boil it in cat dung and serve it to you and all your friends.  
  
Yugi: I don't think they're gonna eat it.  
  
Doctor: Well LA DI DA FOR YOU!!! Now I want my money you dumb hippie dude!!!  
  
Yugi: I'm broke! (Pulls out his pockets- two marbles, pen cap, chewed-up gum and picture of Joey naked falls out) Whoopsies! (Pulls it back) See!!! What should I do?  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yugi: (Tired and blood on his face) Did I clean up enough blood yet?  
  
Doctor: Nope! Missed a spot.  
  
Yugi: Where?  
  
Doctor: Psyche! You can go.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yugi: Hey! I can go to the market to get some gel!!!  
  
(Walks to the market)  
  
Cashier: (Looks up from his porno magazine) Whaddaya want?  
  
Yugi: Hair gel please!  
  
Cashier: Too bad! (Continues looking)  
  
Yugi: Come on!  
  
Cashier: Nah!  
  
Yugi: I'll duel you for it!  
  
Cashier: Then let's duel!  
  
Yugi: I play Exodia! I win!!!  
  
Cashier: No you didn't! I play Exodia's Bag boy! In your face!!! Your Exodia can't do damage if it can't bag its groceries! I win!  
  
Yugi: Darn.  
  
Cashier: There wasn't any hair gel anyway.  
  
Yugi: Double darn.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
(Yugi walking around)  
  
(Pay phone rings)  
  
(Yugi picks up)  
  
Yugi: Hello?  
  
Man: I see dead people.  
  
Yugi: Good for you! (Hangs up)  
  
(Payphone rings)  
  
Yugi: Hello?  
  
Man: I see dead people everywhere!  
  
Yugi: Go screw yourself.  
  
Man: OK!  
  
Yugi: (Hears disturbing noises, Runs away)  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
(Yugi walks to Burger Buddy's Pals where everybody is eating)  
  
Yugi: Hey guys!!!  
  
Joey: Whoa! Who the hell are you?  
  
Yugi: It's Yugi, stupid!  
  
Kaiba: Damn straight, bubba!  
  
Mokuba: It's BROTHER!!! Not bubba! (Slaps Kaiba)  
  
Joey: Well, in case you didn't know, the 70s is over. We don't wear those huge Afros and tight pants, all right? Well, where were you the whole time?  
  
Yugi: Well, I'm having a bad day.  
  
Tristan: Yup it's a bad day.  
  
Yugi: First I got bitten by a cat.  
  
Joey: Yup it's a bad day.  
  
Yugi: Then I didn't have any hair gel.  
  
Tristan: Yup it's a bad day.  
  
Yugi: Then a lawn mower mowed over my foot.  
  
Joey: Yup it's a...  
  
PB: (comes out of nowhere) Shut up! You're makin' me type too much. (Disappears)  
  
Yugi: Then I crawled to the doctors, but they were closed. Then another thing that looked like a dog bit me,  
  
Jay: (Pops up out of nowhere) It was a werewolf. (Disappears)  
  
Yugi: O...K, so I went to the hospital. The hospital told me I had rabies. I went to the market to get gel, so I dueled the cashier, and I lost with Exodia. Then I was walking and some guy on the pay phone kept yapping about dead people. Then I came here. (Panting)  
  
Joey: (Snoring) Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip.  
  
Yugi: WAKE THE HELL UP!!!  
  
Tristan: (Wipes his drool on Pegasus) That was cool. Can I nap again?  
  
Yugi: What were you doing?  
  
Bakura: Planning a trip.  
  
Yugi: To where?  
  
Joey: Here (Hands a poster)  
  
Yugi: (Reading) PB & Jay's Crocodile Hunting Contest starring the Australian Crocodile Hunter, even though you don't have to hunt crocodiles! The prize is a dead wolf! I can cure my rabies!!! Can I come?  
  
Bakura: Don't you have anything better to do?  
  
Yugi: No.  
  
Bakura: Xbox?  
  
Yugi: Played.  
  
Bakura: PS2?  
  
Yugi: Played.  
  
(Continues naming consoles)  
  
Bakura: Atari 400?  
  
Yugi: Played.  
  
Bakura: Dueling?  
  
Yugi: Dueled everyone.  
  
Dog: Ya didn't duel me sucka!  
  
Yugi: Where did he come from? Oh well. YUGIOHHHHH!!!  
  
Yami: Screw you Yugi, I ain't comin' out.  
  
Yugi: Oh, crap. Oh well. I play the DARK MAGICIAN!!!  
  
Dog: I play Deep Dog Doo Doo on a Fire Hydrant. I win.  
  
Yugi: Darn.  
  
Bakura: Ok you poor bastard, you can come.  
  
Yugi: Yay!!!  
  
Pegasus: I don't mind!  
  
Yugi: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
What will happen to Yugi and his gang of dudes? I don't know. Just read the next chapter.  
  
Jay: See how stupid this is???  
  
PB: Shut up!  
  
Jay: Why did I ever agree in writing this?  
  
PB: I said SHUT UP! (Does some Tae Kwon Do move on Jay)  
  
Jay: Owww!!! I hate Peanut Butter.  
  
PB: Read and review. Don't flame, please.  
  
Jay: Since when did you go pleading people to NOT do something? 


	2. A Talking Pig???

PB: Whoo Hoo!!! 2nd chappy up!  
  
Jay: You sound like a cappuccino machine.  
  
PB: Why?  
  
Jay: Does it matter? You forgot to get me my drink! GET IT!!!  
  
PB: Fine (Leaves to get a Sprite)  
  
Jay: I don't know what to type, oh well...  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Yugioh or any Indians from the Shanghai Noon movie or the Australian Crocodile Hunter or any NSYNC albums, unless PB is hiding some. (PB: Why would I be hiding any???) Jay now owns a Sprite cuz' PB went to get one.  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
(Everybody meets by the helicopter)  
  
Yugi: All set?  
  
Joey: I got a sniper rifle to shoot down Yugi if he goes werewolf.  
  
Tristan: I got a machine gun to shoot down Yugi if he goes werewolf.  
  
Bakura: I got a bear trap to capture Yugi if he goes werewolf.  
  
Mokuba: I got Kaiba so that Yugi will bite him instead of me.  
  
Kaiba: That be hot my futher.  
  
Mokuba: BROTHER!!! Not futher. BROTHER (Slaps Kaiba)  
  
Pegasus: I got my boom box with the awesome NSYNC dudes.  
  
Yugi: Just don't turn that on.  
  
(Everyone walks toward helicopter)  
  
Yugi: Hey PB! Who be those guys??? (Looks at some guys on the helicopter)  
  
PB: These guys are the Italian Butchers Of the Mob and the other guys are the 90-year-old motorcyclists. They're just here to gamble. OK!!! EVERYONE OUT!!!  
  
Italian butcher #1: (Curses in Italian)  
  
90-year-old motorcyclists: Shut up!!!  
  
(Everybody boards the helicopter, takes flight. Suddenly a guy comes out of the bathroom)  
  
Man: (Sighs) What a relaxing sh*t I took.  
  
Joey: Man! Why can't we get our own helicopter?  
  
PB: You don't want a pilot? Fine! (Kicks out the pilot)  
  
Jay: See ya suckas!  
  
(Plane sinking)  
  
Yugi: GREAT!!! You had to go and make PB kick out the pilot! Let's all kick Joey!  
  
(Everyone kicks Joey)  
  
Bakura: Hey! Lets land in that meadow!  
  
Joey: Shut up! No one likes a smart British Boy!!! (Waits) LETS LAND IN THAT MEADOW!!!  
  
(A while later)  
  
Yugi: Whew!!!  
  
Pegasus: Let's sing a song!!!  
  
Bakura: NOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Pegasus: (Turns on the boom box and starts dancing)  
  
Why don't you be my girlfriend? I'd treat you...  
  
Yugi: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!  
  
(Everyone runs like crazy)  
  
Pegasus: HEY!!! WAIT UP!!! (Trips over a tree stump, unconscious)  
  
(Two Indian girls from the movie 'Shanghai Noon' come. Except now, they gone cannibal)  
  
Indian girl #1: (Indian Dialect) LUNCH!!! (Both girls do celebration dance)  
  
(Meanwhile...)  
  
Yugi: Did we lose him??? (Panting)  
  
Voice: (In the bushes) I don't think so matey!  
  
Bakura: Who's that? Was that you Kaiba?  
  
Kaiba: Nah way my mutha!  
  
Mokuba: BROTHER!!! NOT MUTHA!!! (Slaps Kaiba)  
  
Yugi: I'm scared. (Pees)  
  
Bakura: Me too. (Pees)  
  
Joey: Don't be scared. (Pees)  
  
Kaiba: I'm not sista. (Pees)  
  
Mokuba: BROTHER!!! NOT SISTA! (Pees)  
  
Tristan: My @$$ hurts. (Craps)  
  
(Everyone shivers)  
  
Australian Crocodile Hunter (ACH): SURPRISE!!!  
  
Everyone: AUGHHHHH!!!  
  
ACH: Y'mates suck laddie.  
  
(Everyone kicks ACH and kicks Joey for no reason)  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yugi: You know what? I think we're walking in circles.  
  
Joey: Nope! Not while I'm leader!  
  
Tristan: Hah! That's funny.  
  
ACH: ONWARDS!!!  
  
Kaiba: Nah way dude!  
  
Mokuba: Good enough.  
  
Kaiba: Did I say DUDE??? I meant food! (Gets slapped by Mokuba)  
  
Bakura: We're gonna stay here for help.  
  
(Joey leads Yugi, Tristan, and ACH. While later, sees Bakura, Kaiba and Mokuba playing Patty-Cake)  
  
Joey: Told ya we were walkin' in circles!  
  
Tristan: WHAT??? You're leader!!!  
  
Joey: Oh Yeah!  
  
ACH: Let's all kick Joey!  
  
Joey: Shut up! No one likes a smart Australian mate! (Waits) Let's ALL KICK JOEY!!!  
  
(Everyone kicks Joey)  
  
ACH: HEY!!! I SEE A HOUSE UP AHEAD!!! ONWARDS!!!  
  
(Everyone walks to a straw house)  
  
ACH: *Knock* Let us in!  
  
Voice: Not by the hair of my auntie's chimps chin!!!  
  
Yugi: O.k!!!  
  
Voice: That's not what you're supposed to say! (Opens door) Hey you're not the wolf? Come in!  
  
Yugi: A TALKING PIG??? I'm leaving.  
  
Joey: No you don't! If we suffer, you suffer more!  
  
(Walks in)  
  
Joey: I'm hungry! Anyone for bacon?  
  
Pig: DIE!!! (Kicks Joey) So what brings you to my house of the future?  
  
Tristan: Looks pretty primitive to me!  
  
Pig: DIE!!! (Kicks Tristan)  
  
Yugi: (Tells story)  
  
Pig: Yeah right! And I'm George W. Bush!  
  
Bakura: I knew it! (Pulls on pig's ears)  
  
Pig: DIE!!! (Kicks Bakura)  
  
Voice: *Knock* *Knock* LET ME IN!!!  
  
Pig: Not by the hair of my auntie's chimp chin.  
  
Kaiba: Damn straight! Give me some pork jugga!  
  
Mokuba: BROTHER!!! NOT JUGGA! Wait. What's a jugga?  
  
Pig: DIE!!! (Kicks Kaiba)  
  
Voice: Then I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down.  
  
Narrator: So he huffed and he-  
  
Joey: Shut the *Bleep* Up!!!  
  
Yugi: LET's GET OUTTA HERE!!!  
  
Pig: See ya!  
  
(House falls down)  
  
Joey: Poor piggy. He look so tasty, but the wolf ate him up.  
  
ACH: Don't worry mates! ONWARDS!!!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
PB: HAHA!!!  
  
Jay: What a dumb idea! (Drinks some Sprite)  
  
PB: Shut up! Read and review and-  
  
Jay: *BURP*  
  
PB: You disgusting ***hole!  
  
READ AND REVIEW!!! NO FLAMES!!! 


End file.
